Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
