party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
