and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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