Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
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Who died my cat blue again?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize