The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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