I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
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you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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