Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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