how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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