I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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