This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
