Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
