It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
