So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
