You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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