well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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