we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
