You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
