am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
