I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
