Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
