hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
