I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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