I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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