She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize