its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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