How'd it feel making her break her religion?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
