we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
