is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
