this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
