if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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