my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
