Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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