That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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