bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
