handjob tips. give me some.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
