You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
