At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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