Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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