I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
