Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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