these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
