why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
