She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
