Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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