For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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