i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
