Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet