It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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