I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.