Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
