so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
