We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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