college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
