I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We got so high we made milksteak
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
