you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
