we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
