I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
