You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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