margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
