His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
