Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
