Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
