If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
