Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
