my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
